Dealing with difficult Wedding Guests!

Thursday, 19 March 2015 00:00

Emmerdale Wedding Fight

Many articles and webpages have been devoted to the subject of who to invite to your wedding and how to choose who gets an invite and who doesn’t. What is less covered and more difficult is how to deal with those guests you have to invite but are hard to handle. New partners of your divorced mother or father, aunts who have a tendency to upset people, uncles who get drunk and insist on a dance.

One SWP bride tells us:
“At my own wedding I had an uncle renowned for getting amorous when he had drunk too much. He was an important member of the family so needed to be invited but not encouraged. We had to find a strategy for dealing with him. My husband and I had a quiet word with his wife, my aunt, prior to the reception and agreed to serve him non-alcoholic wine after a pre-arranged time. He had fun but stayed sober enough not to make advances at anyone and that meant we could relax too!”

Here our top pieces of advice for managing them without spoiling your Big Day in Spain:

Gatecrashers: A major advantage of having your wedding here in Spain is that you are far, far less likely to get uninvited “gatecrasher” guests at your wedding. If, however a friend or relative turns up with an unexpected plus one this can throw the numbers out and make you feel flustered. Try not to worry however, if they’ve let you know a few days in advance, advise your wedding planner by phone and text as well as email to ensure they know and can order an extra meal. Ask them to check other items that the plus one may also need such as a wedding favour or another chair if you are having Chiavari chairs. If the additional guest really has just come on the day, be gracious, don’t let it spoil your wedding. Simply ask your planner for help accommodating them and for a simple snack if a full meal isn’t possible at that point. Your original guest and their plus one will appreciate the effort and thoughtfulness.

Difficult parents: There is a well known saying “forewarned is forearmed”. Put simply this means prior knowledge of possible dangers or problems give one a tactical advantage. This is certainly true when it comes to diffusing difficult situations and guests, especially parents who have remarried or now have different partners. If you know that you or your partner’s parents are going to cause problems have a frank conversation with them about it beforehand and give them a choice. Eg: I’d love to have you both at the wedding but you must promise not to fight or we’ll have to ask you to leave. Speak to your wedding planner and the hotel to ask for someone to be on hand to eject or take aside fighting or shouting guests so your day isn’t spoilt if things do kick off.

Refusal to be in photos: Some family members can take a feud so far that they will refuse to be in a group photo with another family member or members. If this is the case at your wedding you have a right to put your foot down. Speak to your guest or ask your planner to do so and explain that they are there to support you not make things more difficult. If you know there will be an issue tackle them prior to the day and remind them they’re expected to dress appropriately, be in the photos they’re asked to be in, and generally behave well.

Ultimately it’s your day and a celebration of your union. Don’t let one or two uncooperative people spoil it but take courage and tackle any potentially difficult situations and guests beforehand to ensure your perfect day really is just that.


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